As the year comes to a close and a new one dawns, I find myself reflecting on one of life’s profound truths—a truth we feel deep in our bones but often lack the words to express. This year, I’ve carried with me the awareness that every living thing knows pain. It’s an undeniable thread in our woven existence. It reminds us of the deep cuts and struggle that often keep us in defensive positions to protect our vulnerabilities. Yet, alongside that thread, another truth boldly declares: new life is created through joy, even as it is born through pain.
The acts of creation—whether sowing a seed, nurturing an idea, or welcoming new life into the world—are often initiated in joy. There’s pleasure in planting or starting something new, in the touch of inspiration, or in the intimate connection of love. These moments of joy spark life’s beginnings, yet the journey from creation to fruition is not without its challenges. A seed must die to give way to a sprout. A child enters the world through labor and anguish. Growth demands struggle, and paradoxically, our mistakes and tragedies can provide fertile ground for renewal.
Pain and joy, then, are not opposites but partners in life’s great tapestry. My pain reminds me of my joy—because I know what it feels like to love so deeply, to dream so boldly, to hope so earnestly. And my joy reminds me of my pain, teaching me that what I have is precious precisely because it has been hard-won.
Do you remember the start of your therapeutic journey? That day driving to your first session? Maybe you find yourself right now on the verge of beginning therapy—something many consider to be a last resort. What joy is felt in your sorrow and despair?
As we step into this new year, I want to hold space for both. Let us honor the pain we’ve endured—those seasons of loss, struggle, and uncertainty. They were not without purpose. And let us lean into the joy that awaits us—the breakthroughs, the laughter, and the grounding moments of calm. They, too, will give us the strength to face whatever is to come.
Entering therapy with optimism only to encounter unexpected struggles is not a sign of failure but a natural part of the process. These obstacles often point directly to the areas where healing and growth are waiting to happen. A sign that you’ve reached the tender spaces most in need of your focus, care, and attention.
Life’s beauty lies in its dualities. In creation and destruction. In hope and despair. In pain and joy. May we walk into this new year with willing hearts, embracing both sides of this truth and finding meaning in the spaces where they meet.
Here’s to new beginnings, born of joy and pain alike.
Ciao for now,
David Byers, AMFT147942